


Christmas Cookies

by wordstothewisereaders



Series: Destiel Christmas Drabbles [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baking, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, angst if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 02:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13137564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordstothewisereaders/pseuds/wordstothewisereaders
Summary: The holidays are always tough on Dean. He's either dying or mourning. This year, he decides its time to actually celebrate, but he still can feel the dull ache of the absence of his family before his hunting career started. Cas takes note and decides its time to bring Dean a little slice of home.





	Christmas Cookies

"Man, I forgot about this!" Dean exclaimed, flipping through a tattered cookbook. He scanned each page, sometimes pausing to absorb what he saw. 

"What?" Cas asked, leaning over his shoulder. 

"Mom's old cookbook. She made the best stuff around Christmas out of here." Dean marveled. 

Cas read along with him, not making much sense of the ingredients. He had never had a knack for cooking. 

They fell into silence once more as Dean immersed himself in the pages. He would smile fondly every now and again, running his finger over particular familiar words. 

"You ever had Christmas cookies, Cas?" Dean asked, thumbing over a page. 

"I don't think so." 

"Mom made the best ones. I would kill to have these again. They were always my favorite." Dean smiled, and Cas could tell that there was a tinge of sadness and longing lingering in his fondness. 

Cas knew that there was still a gaping hole in the hunter's heart where his mother had once filled, as well as all of his other losses, and Christmas always made him feel that much emptier. Cas wanted so bad to take away every last ounce of despair in Dean for the holidays. He wanted him to take a break and relax and really be happy and let him be as close to his true home as he could be.

"I bet they were quite something, Dean," Cas replied. 

Cas' body may have been in the library, but his mind was already in the kitchen with a plan to bring a bit of Dean's old home back to him.

***

It was midnight when Cas finally stole the cookbook off of the library table. Dean had put it down after carefully examining everything in it for over an hour. Cas made sure that Dean was in bed before he swooped in. 

He flipped the pages until he found the right recipe and turned to the cabinets to gather everything he needed. 

It took longer than it should have for Cas to mix the ingredients and spoon them onto pans. He was unsure of his proportions and even more so of how to work the oven. 

He managed to put the pans in the oven and wrestled with the stovetop dials until he thought it was baking at the right temperature. 

In the meantime, Cas grabbed the novel he had started and settled on the countertop in front of the oven, just to be sure he didn't burn the bunker down. He sank into the book and out of the kitchen, unaware of anything but the pages. It felt right to be so content trying to make the man he had surreptitiously fallen in love with a little bit happier. 

Then the smoke appeared. 

***

Cas pulled himself from his book nearly half an hour later. He smelled smoke and glanced up to see a small fog seeping out of the cracks of the oven door. He jumped to his feet, grabbing a towel to fan at it as he turned off the oven. 

He managed to calm the smoke, but just barely, before he pulled the cookies from the wreckage. He huffed disappointedly at the nearly black circles, frowning deeply. 

He marched them up the stairs and opened the outside door as quietly as he could, sneaking into the cold December night. Sadly, he threw them out into the bushed where no one would see them. 

Cas couldn't bear telling Dean what he was trying to do. He wanted desperately to please the man and screwing up was not going to accomplish it. Instead, he cleaned up his mess as best he could, plugging in a strong air freshener to disperse the smoke smell. Hopefully, the ventilation system of the bunker could take care of that, too. 

Once the kitchen was back to normal and the trash was hidden well, Cas sulked to his bedroom with his laptop. He plopped onto his bed and pulled up every bit of knowledge he could find on baking while also heavily referencing Mary's book. 

He swore he would make this right, all for the price of a smile. 

***

Christmas was less than a week away the next time that Cas stepped foot into the kitchen with the intent of cooking. He had taken thorough notes on what to and not to do with cookies. He had been extensive in his research as if he were working on a case. It would have almost been fun if he weren't so serious about getting this right. 

Cas turned on the oven first, making absolutely sure that it wasn't too hot. He laid mixed his ingredients again, trying to eyeball some of the quantities when he couldn't find the right measuring cups anywhere. 

After he slid the two dozen cookies into the oven this time, he set a timer and made sure not to do anything that would take his attention too far away from where it needed to be. 

He followed his plan perfectly, pulling the cookies out as soon as the timer went off. He successfully got all twenty-four off of the pans and onto racks to cool. He was very proud of his work. 

Then he tasted one, and every last bit of hope he had was drained. 

***

Cas nearly gagged over the bite of cookie in his movie. He scrambled for the trash can, spitting it out unceremoniously. 

It took him a moment to recover, downing a shot of whiskey from the bottle over the sink. Reluctantly, he pulled the canister of sugar out of the cabinet that he had used earlier, licking his finger and sticking it into the granules. 

As he tasted it, he nodded knowingly, harshly showing the canister back into its place. 

Salt. Who would have known that salt would be a bad thing for him of all people? It had saved his ass multiple times, but of  _course_ it would be the one thing to ruin his love life.

Sadly, Cas deposited the cookies outside again and cleaned his mess up spotlessly. He moped to bed, unable to think of anything but his epic screw up. 

 _Merry Christmas,_  he thought disappointedly.

***

Christmas Eve was chaos in the bunker. The brothers had decided they were going to celebrate Cas' first official Christmas and had decked every room with lights and trees that made it feel cozier. Dean cooked for hours, prepping meat and casseroles for the next day. Sam helped as best he could, pulling up recipes and traditions. They even watched Christmas movies that Cas had never seen before together. It was the happiest the three of them had been in years. 

Late in the night, after Sam had retired to bed and Dean had shut off the TV, Cas snuck back into the kitchen one more time. He was reluctant this round and made sure to taste every last ingredient he used. 

When he was satisfied with the batter, he watched the oven just as cautiously as before. He could have screamed with joy when the cookies came out in perfectly colored, perfectly done little circles. He could have passed out when he tasted them. They weren't too sweet nor too bland, just as the recipe had said. 

Cas gingerly wrapped the cookies on a Christmas plate with plastic wrap, careful not to disfigure them. He toted them with him to his room, carefully setting them on the top of his dresser. 

Maybe, just maybe, things were going to turn out okay. Maybe he could bring Dean a little slice of  _home._

***

Dean was up uncharacteristically early on Christmas Day. He had, unprompted and undisturbed, gotten out of bed and made his own coffee. 

Cas was startled when he found Sam and Dean in the living room right after he had managed to wake up. He looked at Sam questioningly, nodding towards Dean. Sam shrugged as he gestured around at all the Christmas decorations. 

Cas poured himself a cup of coffee, settling into the couch next to Dean. He was a bit nervous as he thought about his unusual gift for Dean.

"Morning," Dean said happily. "Ready to open presents?" 

Cas was still alarmed at Dean's perkiness so early in the morning, but by no means was he going to complain. It was nice having a pleasant atmosphere to be in. 

"Of course," Cas answered. 

Dean distributed their gifts out as he sat cross-legged on the floor. He looked like an excited little kid, and Cas loved it. 

Eagerly, they ripped into their presents. Sam guffawed over the research books that Cas had given him. They were ancient and more accurate than anything they had other than the internet. He nearly fainted when he unwrapped the new laptop that Dean had stolen enough money for to buy. Dean was overly pleased with the shiny pistol Sam had found at a pawn shop, and he beamed as he studied the emerald legitimate good luck charm Cas had gotten for him from one of the best witches in the world. Cas immediately loved the brand new blue tie and silver watch Sam had given him, and he could have cried when he saw that Dean had given him an enchanted bracelet meant for protection. 

The trio hugged more than normal, laughing and embracing and thanking. They moved to the kitchen to cook breakfast. Cas noticed how Dean stared at the picture of he and Sam and his parents longingly before he left the living room. He knew that no matter how long it had been since they were together, the steady ache never left. 

Luckily, he was one step towards more happiness and less loneliness. 

***

"I, uh...I got you something else." Cas stuttered as he and Dean sat in the living room and halfway watched a light show competition on TV. 

"Cas, you really didn't have to. This is awesome." Dean replied as he held up the charm he had been fingering. Cas could have sworn he saw the other man's cheeks turn pink. 

"I insist. I just hope I got it right."

Cas retrieved the plate of cookies from his room and sat them on the table in front of Dean. 

Dean raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. Nevertheless, he unwrapped them and took a bite out of one. Instantly, he melted. 

"Where did you find these?" Dean asked, popping the rest of the cookie into his mouth. 

"I made them," Cas said uncertainly. 

"No way," Dean said, shaking his head. "No. These taste just like Mom's. How'd you..." Dean rambled. Tears welled in his eyes. He never thought something as small as a batch of cookies would ever make him this emotional.

"I listened to you talk about the recipe a couple of weeks ago and stole the book. I wanted to make something special." Cas muttered. He took a deep breath. "I know you miss your family - your home - during the holidays. I wanted to bring a little piece of it back to you. I thought maybe it'd make you happier since we were actually trying this year." 

Dean stared at him for a moment. He got up and, unexpectantly, pulled Cas into a bone-crushing hug. He held on far longer than what was platonic, but he didn't care. He loved Cas, and it was even more blatantly obvious now.

"Cas..." Dean whispered as he pulled back to look him in the eye. He kissed him then, just like he had wanted to for too damn long. Short and sweet and passionate and thankful and so, so many more things. "Thank you."

"Always," Cas whispered back. He was winded by pure shock. He had  _never_  expected this kind of reaction, but he had never craved it more. It felt like maybe he had finally gotten it right. 

"Hey, Cas?" Dean asked quietly as he pressed their foreheads together. 

"Yes, Dean?" 

"Thank you for trying to bring me back a little bit of home," Dean said, "but I already  _am_ home."


End file.
